


Stay Alive

by Jaraall



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Hospitals, Minor Character Death, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 20:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4151439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaraall/pseuds/Jaraall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When all you can do is watch your child fight for their life, you stay by their side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Song is Stay Alive by José González

There’s a rhythm in rush these days  
Where the lights don’t move and the colours don’t fade  
Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams  
In a world gone shallow  
In a world gone lean

The sterile white room was almost empty in its simplicity. The harsh fluorescent lights that lit up the room gave constant shadows and vivid colours. One of the walls had a rather large window out into a corridor and on the opposite wall, a smallish square window looking out over a busy city street. Beside the square window, mounted on the wall were cabinets filled with various medical supplies, and along the wall underneath the window were a row of cabinets also filled with medical supplies. In the middle of the otherwise so barren room was an incubator with a small newborn baby inside it and an occupied chair. A whole array of different machines, were hooked up to the small child in the incubator, the machines measured heartbeat, brain activity, gave nutrition and helped the baby to breath. The constant swish, swoosh and beeping of the different machines were keeping the time. The middle of the night had come and gone, but the ticking clock meant nothing for the man sitting beside the incubator watching his child fight for life. He closed his eyes and dreamed, dreamed of the future. A future he hoped would include his daughter. The world would seem so empty and shell-like without her, so shallow. He had already lost a child one time before. He wanted, wished and dreamed that his daughter would make it out of this room, of this hospital, alive.

Sometimes there’s things a man cannot know  
Gears won’t turn and the leaves won’t grow  
There’s no place to run and no gasoline  
Engine won’t turn  
And the train won’t leave

Engines won’t turn and the train won’t leave

He did not know if his dreams would come true, it had been a devastating day when he and his wife received the news that they would not be able to conceive daughters without the girls having very serious genetic problems. He would never give up his two sons, but he desperately wanted this little girl. Deep down he knew that he would never see her grow up, never see her reach the lowest branches and leaves on the tree he had planted for her, but he vehemently refused to acknowledge that fact yet. They could not run from this problem, he and his wife were stuck in time waiting with baited breaths for their girl to be cleared, to take her home and introduce her to her elder brothers. The door opened and revealed his wife in a wheelchair rolled in by a nurse. Neither of the adults acknowledged the others as the nurse placed his wife next to him and then moved over to the machines. One of the machines, the one measuring the oxygen content in the blood had momentarily stopped its whooshing; the engine inside it would not turn. 

I will stay with you tonight  
Hold you close ‘til the morning light  
In the morning watch a new day rise  
We’ll do whatever just to stay alive  
We’ll do whatever just to stay alive

The nurse moved to restart it but then thought better of it and began tapping some of the keys beside the screen. Soon the whooshing started up again and joined the other machines in their never ending musical number. The nurse nodded at the two and left the room leaving husband and wife to watch their child. A hand was softly placed on his arm and the man looked up at his wife a tight and tired smile on his face. His wife’s eyes communicated what she was not able to say, and he knew his eyes said the same. Together they looked over at the little baby fighting for her life and their eyes spoke volumes more than what words could ever express. We will stay with you little one. We’ll do whatever just so you can stay alive. Husband and wife held each other as close as the chairs allowed as the dawn began to break over the street outside the window.

Well the way I feel is the way I write  
It isn’t like the thought of the man who lies  
There is a truth and it’s on our side  
Dawn is coming  
Open your eyes  
Look into the sun as the new days rise

Slowly, oh so slowly the machines started to slow their music, the nurse came in again, pushed a few more keys and gave them a reassuring smile. But they felt that time was running out. The doctor had said that the child would survive the night but husband and wife still felt his lie deep down inside. There was a truth and it wasn’t on their side, their daughter would not survive, if she did, she would be condemned to a life in pain and would require constant technology to survive. Dawn was coming closer for every minute. The child was still breathing, and moved ever so slowly. His wife’s breath hitched in her throat as she slowly, softly stretched her hand out and placed it on the plastic wall of the incubator that separated them from their daughter. The child’s eyes had been closed all this time, but now the lids seemed to flutter. Not able to bear with the feeling of the moment he lifted his eyes from his daughter and looked out the window where the sun was beginning to rise.

And I will wait for you tonight  
You’re here forever and you’re by my side  
I’ve been waiting all my life  
To feel your heart as it’s keeping time  
We’ll do whatever just to stay alive

A gasp came from his wife, and he lowered his eyes to the baby, his heart beat picked up, he could feel it throbbing in his throat, in his whole body. The beeping from the heart monitor had picked up along with the whooshing from the respirator. His wife was clutching his hand incredibly tight, as her other hand still rested on the plastic that separated them from the baby. He remembered vividly the day they had found out they were expecting a girl. He had promised himself, his wife and the little girl inside her that he would be there forever by their sides. He could see the hope shining in his wife’s eyes. They had been waiting for so long for their girl, all their life it seemed like. The time had stopped for them as they concentrated on the baby and the heart monitor that seemed to be keeping the time for them, counting every heartbeat like seconds. The heart monitor was keeping the time for them instead of the sluggish clock on the wall. Once again the man heard his wife gasp and he felt his own breath hitch, their little one was struggling to open her eyes, to see the new day rise. He once again thought, we’ll do whatever just so you can stay alive.

Dawn is coming  
Open your eyes  
Dawn is coming  
Open your eyes  
Dawn is coming  
Open your eyes  
Dawn is coming  
Open your eyes

He closed his eyes, took a stuttering breath, felt his wife squeeze his hand and then he gathered his courage and opened his eyes to see his beautiful baby girl looking at them. She had light blue eyes, just like his wife. Just then, that moment when he saw his girl’s eyes for the first time ever, dawn broke and the early morning light seemed to flood the room with its warm yellowish light. He squeezed his wife’s hand and he felt more than saw her begin to cry. His eyes were fixated on his daughter’s eyes and in those eyes, in those few moments he saw a possible future with his family and especially her, his daughter. But then their little magical moment came crashing down around them. The heart monitor slowed down, right along with the respirator which stopped completely. With the respirator not working the oxygen monitor also rapidly declined and stopped, the heart beat slowed down and soon the room was invaded with nurses and the doctor. But the couple already knew what would happen as the monotone pitch of the heart monitor took over and their little girl ceased to exist.

Look into the sun as the new days rise  
There’s a rhythm to rush these days  
Where the lights don’t move and the colours don’t fade  
Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams  
In a world gone shallow  
In a world gone lean

He looked away. Out through the window into the shining sun, into the rising day, he could not bear to see the body of his girl eyes still wide open looking at him and his wife. He felt empty, the fluorescent lights still gave sharp shadows and bright colours, but everything felt black and white, they were left with their dreams in a shallow and lean world. They would live on for their sons until time managed to numb the pain and it would not hurt to think about this. Until then everything would be one-dimensional, bare and tilted on end. Both husband and wife looked at their daughter one last time before they together looked out the window. The truth had not been on their side.

But there’s truth and it’s on our side  
Dawn is coming open your eyes  
Look into the sun as the new days rise


End file.
